Here I stand Lord, though I am weak and feeble,
I claim to understand Lord, though I know am fallible,
I want to see You clearly, though my flesh is bent on sin, permanently turned away,
My heart’s in ICU daily, though I claim to have a new heart, am always thirsty for Your way,
Too dazed by Your glory, amazed by your Grace, I confess “Have Your way!”
I seek Your face daily, even as my feet keep leading me to the dungeon,
Sip from Your grace hourly, even though am fit for destruction,
Daily leaving my true self on the shelf of my convictions,
My flesh impaled, but my face pale from breathing out more than I breath in.
My faith is deathly, deadly, bleeding out truths that I seldom sell in my actions,
*****
So, as Paul with Timothy lovingly pleaded, earnestly prayed, for him to fan his gift to flame,
I am on my knees seeking thy will, fervently pleading that You will fan this love to flame,
To burn this game and set ablaze this mess that is my witness,
Free me from these illusions of spiritual fitness,
I know too well that my hands and feet seldom hit the gym of love in action,
Obese from preferring truth ingestion, my heart constricted from a love inaction,
*****
Lord, am leaning on Your Grace, trusting You to lovingly blow over this weak witness,
Praying that I will feel You patiently healing this love sickness,
How can I love my neighbor as I love myself if I don’t know myself?
How can I love my neighbor as I love myself if I don’t love myself?
Yet I can’t love myself, for there’s nothing in me worth loving,
And I can’t love myself, for there’s no love in me worth giving.
*****
So I look up to You, painfully knowing that I can’t reach up to You, still I call out to You,
Fallibly knowing that I am using Your promise to prop me, for I know nothing,
Feebly reaching out for Your power to steel me, for I can do nothing,
I make a vow, yet my vow is not really mine, am echoing Yours,
For I can only keep what You give me, even the power to bow comes from You,
The Strength in my weakness; is found in You.
The Sight in my weak lens, I get from You.
The Fight in my surrender, resides in You.
I will call out and hold out until I love my neighbor like You have loved me.
Not because I can love, I can’t, but because You are love and You are alive in me.
I can do all things through You, Christ, for You give me strength.
Yes, even the strength to love, for You are Love.
Alien Citizen 