Remembering Caroline Ngoha (1982 – 2009)

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” [Psalm 116:15]

Can angels die? I’m not sure. All I know is that an angel died and went to be with the Lord four years ago. She was the sweetest girl, with the sweetest heart and the sweetest voice. It didn’t matter if you had rules about hugging girls, her arms would envelope you without your permission. It didn’t matter if she didn’t know where she’ll get her next meal, she always made sure her guests ate to their fill. And it didn’t matter that she had gone through the worst pain a human being could endure, she treated all human beings as God’s best ideas. A victim of a horrific gang-rape, you’d expect her to hate (or at least fear) all men. On the contrary, she loved us. Unconditionally and unreservedly.

Her name was Caroline Ngoha, and she was my friend. No, she was our friend. You see, everybody loved her, because she loved everybody. Everybody had time for her, because she had time for everybody. And today, four years later, everybody remembers her, because she never forgot anybody. I miss Carol. The memory of her smile is still clear in my mind. I can still feel the warmth of her heart. The following poem is part of the tribute that I wrote in her memory, on the day of her burial, today, four years ago:

The curtains have descended on a legacy well lived,

A heart that loved despite life’s storms,

A smile that shone so bright in the dark,

Our fickle human minds fail to understand,

How such a grieved soul was even able to stand,

Reflecting eternal light to everyone she encountered,

It’s not a notion to be easily pondered,

With our hearts vexed and our emotions boiling,

Only a God who loves so perfectly really understands,

What power lay in such tender, loving hands

Carol passed on the year after her college graduation. I was the one assigned the task of designing and preparing the yearbook for that year. I remember going through the responses that her classmates gave to this question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” The answers were diverse, ranging from “starting my own business”, to “married” to “having my first child”. But one response particularly stood out from all the rest. It was Carol’s response. She didn’t break into song about her material wants. Neither did she dream and swoon about fat checks and big cars. No. Instead, she sang the sweetest song my heart will ever hear. I quote:

“I’m trusting the future in God’s hands, because He knows best.”

And that’s exactly where she is, in God’s hands. Not just for 4 years, but forever! Her hearts at rest, because God knows best. Isn’t that just the most beautiful thing about her? So, even though she’s no longer with us. I wont cry. I will celebrate… And if you see tears in my eyes, Cornell is just overwhelmed with joy.

Her voice floats through the heavens and graces the courts,
And with the angels gasping and then joining in on her song,
There’s a flash of lightning, a gentle thunder….

God, the Father, IS BLUSHING!

Someday in heaven, I’ll thank Carol and tell her everything she meant to me. I’ll probably have to wait in line to get to her.

May your life-song live to glorify God forever, Carol.

I miss you.